I Run Like A Girl

I’m 17 weeks pregnant, and it’s getting harder to hide!

I mentioned in past posts that we’ve been homebodies over the last few months, and now you know why. 🙂 Joe and I are absolutely elated to start our family. Between getting married last year, moving to North Carolina, and feeling like my career is in a good spot, it couldn’t be a better time to grow our family.

I wanted to share the highs and lows of pregnancy up to this point by doing a first trimester recap. Buckle up!

How did you find out?

Back in February, I had a feeling something was different that month because I did not feel my usual PMS symptoms. So first thing in the morning, I took a pregnancy test…

To my surprise, there was a faint positive line! After googling this, I learned this usually means you’re pregnant because it detects a hormone that has no reason to be in your body unless you’re pregnant. I was absolutely elated and couldn’t wait to tell Joe.

Joe woke up an hour later (which felt like the longest hour of my life), and he was just as happy as I was. I’ll never forget his face when I showed him the pregnancy test as it transformed from groggy confusion to a shocked smile. It was a moment I will always cherish.

Right after, I really wanted to tell my mom, but I coincidentally had an annual exam with my primary care provider that day, and I decided to confirm the pregnancy at the doctor’s office first. Oddly enough, the pregnancy test I took there came out negative. I felt super confused, and I had a feeling that their test was wrong (which is common when testing so early in a cycle). I went home and felt a mix of confusion and disappointment, but I knew in my heart that I was probably pregnant.

The next few days, I continued to test at home, and it became clear that I was pregnant. 🙂

What were your symptoms?

To be frank, I had a very difficult first trimester. I had all the textbook pregnancy symptoms: nausea, vomiting, headache, fatigue…but the severity was way worse than I imagined.

My nausea started strong in week 6. I was instantly bedridden, running to the bathroom to vomit every hour. I couldn’t keep any food down, and I even threw up water for weeks.

A few weeks later at my first prenatal appointment, I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of nausea that affects 1% of women, where you can’t keep down any food or liquid and experience severe dehydration and weight loss.

I was prescribed medication which helped me manage my vomiting to 1-2x a day, which allowed me to start gaining weight, but the nausea was always there. And the headaches! Oh my god. I have a relatively high discomfort-tolerance (I think all women do), but headaches are my Achilles heel.

This severe nausea persisted for my entire first trimester and into my second trimester. Despite all this, I’m grateful I was able to gain 3 pounds during my first trimester.

How did you feel emotionally?

I admit the emotional struggles during this period were just as challenging as the physical. My initial excitement quickly turned into survival mode because of my severe symptoms. For some reason, I assumed I’d have an easy time because I was relatively healthy and strong pre-pregnancy.

Boy, was I wrong. It was very humbling to realize this whole process was entirely out of my control.

I admit, I felt a sense of hopelessness some days (dramatic, I know). I read horror stories of women with hyperemesis gravidarum for their entire pregnancy, and I questioned if it’d get better for me at all. (Spoiler: I started to turn a corner at 16 weeks).

We had a trip to Puerto Rico in week 10 that we planned before getting pregnant, but we unfortunately had to cancel it because I was too sick. I also had to cancel some work travel, and my boss was beyond supportive. I was pretty much home-bound for my entire first trimester.

Despite these challenges, I was so grateful that my baby was healthy. I felt grounded every time I looked at the baby’s scan, knowing this was all worth it. I also felt a huge sense of presence. I was not thinking about the future at all since I was just trying to make it through each day. Being sick, as tough as it was, gave me the gift of feeling present.

I also admit, I felt lonely during my first trimester. We had just moved to North Carolina, and there were very few in our “inner circle” who knew about the pregnancy. I think many women feel lonely during this time because you can’t share the news yet or talk to anyone about it! I found a lot of comfort on Reddit reading about other women who experienced hyperemesis gravidarum like me.

I’m so grateful for Joe during this period. He was my rock and was truly the best husband I could ask for. I think having kids can help affirm your choice in a partner because you see so many new sides of them. He cooked for me every day, supported me, and shared the excitement. I’m also so grateful for my mom – countless texts and calls to her…I really leaned on her during this period.

Now that I’m in my second trimester, it’s been night and day on the emotional front. It feels so good to start telling people, and sharing the excitement with our friends and family has helped my outlook so much.

Did you exercise?

I had grand plans to be a pregnant fitness warrior, but that quickly went down the drain. I didn’t exercise at all starting week 6. I tried to get some movement each day with walks in my neighborhood, but there were many days when that didn’t happen.

The old me would feel anxious seeing my gains dissolve; I would push myself to my limits to continue working out. But this wasn’t my first time going through an extended period when I couldn’t exercise (e.g., due to travel or injuries), so this time, I was mentally prepared for the challenges of an exercise hiatus. I learned that rest is always more important than keeping up the gains, so I listened to my body and took a step back.

As I’ve gotten older, I now see fitness as a long-term journey, and I knew I would rebuild my strength once I was on the other side. That said, I just started easing into working out again, and it feels SO good!

Any food cravings/aversions?

I didn’t have any food cravings since most food was unappealing to me, and I was just trying to keep food down at each meal.

That said, I developed some major food aversions, the biggest being any processed foods. My diet turned to 100% whole foods: rice, pasta, soups, fruits, cheese, yogurt, and some meat. Anything processed with chemicals would make me vomit – even crackers couldn’t stay down!

I also developed a major aversion to sugar besides fruit. Before pregnancy, my weakness was ice cream and pastries, but one bite of these desserts would make me sick. I’m just starting to get over my aversions and eat my favorite sweets again.

Final thoughts

It feels so good to have this out in the open on the blog! I have been dying to share this post for weeks. I actually wrote it slowly throughout my first trimester which helped me process everything and feel less alone. I’m excited to continue sharing my pregnancy journey and beyond with you all. Until next time, my friends!